Even though you might naturally have an idea about when and where you might want to be married, do not book any venues or make deposits until the local parish church preparing you for marriage has gathered necessary documents and confirmed the availability of the church.
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Answer: Naturally, we agree the church is beautiful! It took a lot of sacrifice from our parishioners, even though, we are still actively paying a heavy mortgage for its cost.
However, because of the limited availability of our own clergy, typically weddings at St. Margaret’s are officiated by our clergy for members of this parish church only or those who live within our parish district.
If you live in and attend another parish, please initiate and complete your local marriage preparation program there. Once your marriage preparation program is completed, your own local Catholic clergy is most welcome to officiate your wedding here following our parish requirements for wedding planning and use of the church. Please ask your priest or deacon who will be officiating at your wedding to personally call St. Margaret’s for the possibility of available dates.
Answer: As a minimum, weddings only require the clergyman, the couple and two witnesses! Marriage ceremonies that take place during our regular weekday Mass schedule can reduce your financial burden substantially.
If, however, parishioners use the church outside of regular Mass times, depending on their use of the building, special arrangements will naturally have to be made to prepare such as extended use of utilities and necessary personnel to ensure the church environment is ready.
Understandably, if you or your immediate family have a history of actively attending St. Margaret's along with a record of supporting the upkeep of the facilities, we will ask for $500 for use of the church. Those having no history of support will contribute $1,000.
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As soon as your engagement is official, but before you set a date, please fill out the marriage section of a Sacramental Request Form. The form is gold colored and located near the doors of the church in the top of the pamphlet rack. Once the marriage section has been filled out and initialed by you and your fiancée, turn it in to the office. Now you are ready to call the parish to schedule your first meeting with one of the parish clergy.
FOCCUS (Facilitate Open Caring Communication Understanding & Study) encourages couples to discuss a broad range of topics that can help them learn communication and conflict resolution skills. This tool is provided to couples at their parish and reviewed with the couple by a trained minister, normally clergy.
Couples have the opportunity to meet a mentor couple who can support, encourage, and pray for them throughout—and beyond— the marriage preparation process.
This is a one-day session held on Saturdays at locations throughout the Diocese of San Diego. The program presents a summary of Catholic teaching on marriage and an overview of life skills essential for marriage.
Go to https://sdcatholic.org/celebrating-your-love-registration/ for dates and registration.
After you have completed the one day Celebrating Your Love conference and received and reviewed your FOCCUS tool feedback, arrange to meet again with the parish clergy to discuss your insights and review where you are in your preparation for marriage. If all is in order, this is the time to set your date. (In short, if you have scrolled down to read this section first, go back to the top and read from the beginning! One step at a time. It's worth it!)
Your mentoring couple not only will be for you a "Witness to Love", they are also at your service to provide a listening ear and to help introduce you to other opportunities for personal and spiritual growth.
Attend an Engaged Encounter weekend retreat with several other couples to explore the meaning of the Sacrament and acquire tools to build a strong marriage foundation. Go to https://sandiego.engagedencounter.com/ for dates and registration.
Our Church Wedding Coordinators have overseen countless weddings at St. Margaret's. They know what works in our unique church environment and what doesn't. The Wedding Coordinators will help keep the focus on the sacred dimensions of the wedding and help minimize unnecessary distractions.
Please do not purchase bridal dresses without reviewing the modesty requirements and speaking with your Wedding Coordinator. Pictures of the bridal dresses will need to be submitted to the Wedding Coordinator well ahead of the wedding.
A wedding ceremony in a Catholic church is first and foremost a sacred encounter with God. This holy event should never be approached as a “production”, an opportunity to “dress to impress” or used to express superficial themes or motifs. A preliminary reflection should be, “I am to stand before God’s Holy Altar – how should I present myself to the Lord who is to bless my marriage and make it sacred?”
Furthermore, especially for the Brides, the traditional white is to reflect the purity of one’s soul before God. In a highly sexualized society, it is never appropriate in a sacred environment to purposefully or even unwittingly dress in such a way that could be interpreted as sending out sexual overtones. The parish’s Wedding Coordinator and/or the priest will not hesitate to delay or cancel a wedding if the party’s dress or behavior is deemed not only immodest or in bad taste, but also disrespectful to the religious nature of a church wedding.
For Brides, Bridesmaids, Parents, and Sponsors
Find a dress with a neckline that completely conceals any cleavage.
Dresses must cover the back and 3 inches of the shoulders–use a shawl or small jacket, if necessary, especially if a bride’s veil is see-through. The Parish has shawls available for the Bride and Bridesmaids if one is forgotten on the day of the wedding.
Tattoos are to be covered.
Short dresses must be no shorter than the top of the knee.
A modest gown should not be excessively tight and draw unnecessary attention to your figure.
Slits on skirts are not to be higher than the knee.
Nothing see-through.
No exposed midriffs.
No flip-flops.
Groom and Groomsmen
A traditional suit or tuxedo with tie or neckpiece with regular dress shoes is expected. Sneakers are not appropriate for the ceremony.
Anything that may be construed to have sports or commercial allegiance or even gang association will not be permitted.
Military class alpha or service dress uniforms are appropriate for both genders. Swords are not to be worn inside the church.
Cultural attire may be appropriate if it is traditionally formal, expected by and true to one’s family origin and is truly worthy of the sacred nature of Christian marriage.
Tattoos are to be covered.
Men are not to have any headgear inside the church.